My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Randomize
