im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
