Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
