Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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