she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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