i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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