$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
