it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
