I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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