I think I am morally bankrupt
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
