Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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