Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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