Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
