i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
He told me they were just razor bumps!
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
