What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
