belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
