KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
