i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
