Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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