what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
