You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
