Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
