so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
