I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
