She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
