she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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