R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
