im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
We left an ass print on the piano.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
