Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
