when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
