my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I smell like Dick and happiness
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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