So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
