Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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