hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
