it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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