Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
