Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
