Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
