Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
