At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Randomize
