i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
