One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
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