You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
