Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
he fucked my hip out of place.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
