I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
