Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
