i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
