How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
