direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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