It's Friday. Sex?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
