Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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